❤Mortuus' Story

And I don't know why... Like, yeah, I was angry, tired and in pain, but when I got home, I just curled up and cried myself to sleep. It's now been almost a week and it still hurts, specially because I don't have a solid reason why I quit. I actually liked the job and I had the best coworkers I ever had... Maybe I just dislike myself to the point where I don't allow myself to have nice things... I don't know what to do, what step to take now... I'll make some games for Android, if I'll figure out how to do that, maybe I'll be able to make few euros that way, I've also sent some mails to some companies, but none responded.  I could probably get my job back, but I can't get myself to face my coworkers after I've quit, I can't just go back... Although my boss would probably allow me to come back... I really don't know why I make my life so much harder for myself... Help me :( 

Do you hate yourself, bloody hell, it seems so severe I don't even like saying it out loud but there have been times in my life sometimes not that long ago where I have felt self-hatred, when I break it down it's not that I hate my essence is maybe I hate behaviors or feel like I can't live with myself anymore, Eckhart Tolle used that phrase brilliantly, I can't live with myself anymore, recognising that that indicates even to people self-hatred is like that, I interpret it as a desire to immolate or burn the egoic individualized constructed self, I believe that even in negative impulses there is something positive that can be used, and this is a good example, the self-hatred can be regarded as a kind of awakening to the transition you require of yourself, as if part of you knows there is no future in the person that you've been living as, I can no longer be that man, I've had many times in my life where I felt I've had to transition between the person I wa...