❤Mortuus' Story

And I don't know why... Like, yeah, I was angry, tired and in pain, but when I got home, I just curled up and cried myself to sleep. It's now been almost a week and it still hurts, specially because I don't have a solid reason why I quit. I actually liked the job and I had the best coworkers I ever had... Maybe I just dislike myself to the point where I don't allow myself to have nice things... I don't know what to do, what step to take now... I'll make some games for Android, if I'll figure out how to do that, maybe I'll be able to make few euros that way, I've also sent some mails to some companies, but none responded.  I could probably get my job back, but I can't get myself to face my coworkers after I've quit, I can't just go back... Although my boss would probably allow me to come back... I really don't know why I make my life so much harder for myself... Help me :( 

Good day, some might say I'm a bit late, but some would also say better late than never. So... In the new year of 2020, I've cut my hair and will try to maintain short hair for the foreseeable future, I’ve also started the process of cleaning my room, Like thoroughly this time which means that I'm getting rid of approximately 5 computer cases, 1-4 monitors, a lot of papers and documents and hopefully also a lot of clothing so that I can empty my closet. It is taking a bit longer than I initially expected but that is only because I installed a new table which is a lot lower than the previous one which means that I can actually sit straight now and that my feet touch the ground, which is always good. I have also begun the process of learning Android programming using programming language kotlin which is the dominant programming language for Android development right now or so I believe. In the Sun but I also started to exercise regularly every day which I like to believe h...

"When successfully scaled up, modern reinforcement learning techniques can achieve superhuman performance in competitive esports games. The key ingredients are to expand the scale of compute used, by increasing the batch size and total training time. In order to extend the training time of a single run to ten months, we developed surgery techniques for continuing training across changes to the model and environment. While we focused on Dota 2, we hypothesize these results will apply more generally and these methods can solve any zero-sum two-team continuous environment which can be simulated in parallel across hundreds of thousands of instances. In the future, environments and tasks will continue to grow in complexity. Scaling will become even more important (for current methods) as the tasks become more challenging." This excerpt is from this document:  https://cdn.openai.com/dota-2.pdf

I approached my mother while she was cooking (she was cooking because even though she has a broken leg, she offered to cook for me and her), I asked her if she knew why I’m constantly correcting her, when she requests something of me, to which she didn’t really have an answer, somehow she felt offended by the fact that she could learn something anything from me. A few minutes of chatting later and she delivered the wall shattering statement, she said: “Because of you, it’s not easier to live!”. That was quite painful to hear, especially because since she broke her leg, I was always at her side. It is true that some of the time when she asked me to do something I would ask her how to do that, but that’s mostly to avoid doing something twice, you know, doing it the first time the way you think she wants it done, and then doing it the second time when she sees how you’ve done it and tells you how she wanted it done. Because of this revelation (a surprising and previously unknown ...

Do you hate yourself, bloody hell, it seems so severe I don't even like saying it out loud but there have been times in my life sometimes not that long ago where I have felt self-hatred, when I break it down it's not that I hate my essence is maybe I hate behaviors or feel like I can't live with myself anymore, Eckhart Tolle used that phrase brilliantly, I can't live with myself anymore, recognising that that indicates even to people self-hatred is like that, I interpret it as a desire to immolate or burn the egoic individualized constructed self, I believe that even in negative impulses there is something positive that can be used, and this is a good example, the self-hatred can be regarded as a kind of awakening to the transition you require of yourself, as if part of you knows there is no future in the person that you've been living as, I can no longer be that man, I've had many times in my life where I felt I've had to transition between the person I wa...

I've been researching various ML techniques for analysing, creating and understanding texts, and along that path I've stumbled across various websites that claim they'll write an article on which ever topic you give them... So of course I gave them a topic "How to do Magic", because why not, right? Here's what they created: Magic does not belong to any one spiritual or religious path. These along with other traditions from around the globe have been passed down over the hundreds of years and are still very much in practice today. In the realm of Wicca, magical traditions have a tendency to be rooted in the hundreds of years old practices of the folk healers of Europe and also the ancient Hermetic philosophies rediscovered throughout the Renaissance. But while there are tried and true spells and methods that have been passed down over the generations, magic in Wicca is not at all a static art. New spells and new approaches to magical manifestation arise all...

" Why does it feel that the time passes faster as we get older? What is the physical basis for the impression that some days are slower than others? Why do we tend to focus on the unusual (the surprise), not on the ever present? This article unveils the physics basis for these common observations. The reason is that the measurable ‘clock time’ is not the same as the time perceived by the human mind. The ‘mind time’ is a sequence of images, i.e. reflections of nature that are fed by stimuli from sensory organs. The rate at which changes in mental images are perceived decreases with age, because of several physical features that change with age: saccades frequency, body size, pathways degradation, etc. The misalignment between mental-image time and clock time serves to unite the voluminous observations of this phenomenon in the literature with the constructal law of evolution of flow architecture, as physics. " -Bejan, A. (n.d.). Why the Days Seem Shorter as We...